Finding Patterns That Don’t Define Me

I’ve never put much stock in numerology. It always seemed a little too much like horoscopes—vague, flexible, and conveniently flattering. Still, I’ve found myself occasionally raising an eyebrow at the strange little patterns that trail through my life like breadcrumbs.

The street number of our first house was 23. The next one was 41. I currently own and live in two condo units: 11 and 12; my mailing address is 2012. Add them up—each one reduces to 5. Coincidence? Probably. But after a few of those, I start to wonder—am I in some sort of cosmic “5 zone”? If I were the type to believe in life-path numbers or vibrations of the universe, I’d say the number 5 is following me like a stray cat that thinks it belongs on my porch.

But here’s the thing: while I see the patterns, I don’t let them define me.

There’s something very human about looking for meaning in numbers, stars, signs, or symmetry. We are, after all, meaning-makers by design. We want the universe to speak to us in something other than silence. We want to believe there’s order in chaos, and that the path we’re walking has been paved with purpose.

I think that desire is good. It reflects something deeper—maybe even something holy. But the danger is when we start letting the pattern dictate the meaning, rather than seeing the pattern as simply a reminder that meaning exists.

For me, true meaning isn’t found in repeated digits or spiritual math equations. It’s found in the unchanging voice of God, not in the shifting shadows of coincidence. The numbers may catch my attention, but they don’t call the shots. If I’m looking for purpose, I don’t turn to 5s—I turn to the One who says, “I have called you by name; you are mine” (Isaiah 43:1).

That doesn’t mean I don’t laugh at the oddities or smile when patterns pop up again. I do. But I keep them in their place: interesting, not instructive. They are patterns I notice, not patterns I follow. They’re part of my story, not the source of it.

In the end, I choose not to be defined by numbers or nudges from chance—but by grace, by calling, and by the God who knows my days, whether they’re numbered or not.